Tea at the Ritz

Right after the pig exhibition, I had agreed to have coffee with a friend in Place Vendome, in the Bar Vandome. I knew it was in the Ritz, but I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

It was out of this world. It was ridiculousness at its maximum expression. First of all, I was late to meet my friend who had asked me to go there. I ran, and lost two of my friends who caught up with us later. Except they almost weren’t allowed into the freaking place because it stinks with pretentious, pompousness and you have to be just as ludicrous to be there. Of course, none of my friends were expecting this, and our lost-student faces probably told the guards that there was no chance we had the budgets to be there.

But finally we sit down, and order tea. Except tea is not just tea. Its tea, and more biscuits and sandwiches than you can handle, and…. drum roll… the ‘house’ champagne.

In short, it was a three-hour event, that included amazing little cookies and biscuits and earl-grey, and champagne, and bathrooms with hot towels so you can dry your hands, and some of the most self-important people I have ever seen, and last but not least, an absurd bill.

I understood how shocked Julia Roberts’s character was at the sight of the hotel in Pretty Woman. Ok, it’s a stretch. But really, too much preposterousness. Later I found out there are songs about this. Why do I live in a permanent mental lapsus?

It was quite an experience, and truth be told, I had fun playing along. But it's checked off of my list of things to do.