All Aboard

I don't really have his permission to publish it, but my stepbrother wrote to me on my birthday something genial which I couldn't refrain myself from putting on here:


Welcome to the 21st level, all aboard please.

Please keep your wallets empty, your hands outside the vehicle at all times.
Please refrain from riding tricycles or even bicycles,
No poppers or poptarts allowed.
You may stick your chewing gum below the table, aisles with music playing at all times.

In the event of intoxication, please assist your friends first, and then place a ten dollar bill in the bouncer’s hand.

There will be late meals served, past midnight and 4:00 a.m., preferred menus “a la carte”, because a diet is like crack.

All kids, children, babies, toddlers, infants, small children, children, big children and even bigger children, NO CRYING PLEASE,
We are entering the legal age benchmark and threshold for non-legal minors.

As we pass all fears, the robe looms at a closing distance,
With deans, profs, lights and speeches that smell like leeches,

We know, (or better we think we know), that we are wise and old, yet there are many things that we have not been told.

Please behold because its been foretold, that we are now entering the legal age benchmark and threshold for non-legal minors.


All aboard.